“It’s the opportunities that Narrabri doesn’t offer. It’s around the friendships they’re going to build for life”— Mrs Melanie Elms
A Boarding Mum’s Journey from Edgeroi, New South Wales to TGS.
Heartfelt moments bookend the boarding years
“It feels very surreal. I'm proud, but it is very surreal.” Those were the words of Mrs Melanie Elms from 'Taringa' near Edgeroi, New South Wales, as she reflected on the moment her youngest son Sam finished his time at Toowoomba Grammar School. An end to walking up to Taylor House returning a boarder to TGS forever and it comes just 12 months after her eldest son, James, graduated.
For the Elms family, the decision to send their boys to boarding school was not taken lightly. They toured schools in New South Wales and Brisbane, including her husband Jason's old School but it was Toowoomba Grammar School that felt right - the grounds, the environment, the country boys from regional communities.
“We loved the fact that the boys were all very like-minded. They were regional, they had connections already and it felt like a really good bouncing board to college, to Sydney, to greater life.” she said.
Tears of Trepidation
Yet even the right decision comes with heartache. “I will never forget the pit in my stomach,” Mrs Elms recalls. “We were all crying. We left James, got in the car and all started crying because it felt very strange.”
Sending a 12 or 13-year-old boy to boarding school is often described as a “necessary evil.” Harsh words, perhaps, but they capture the unnatural feeling of parting with your child. Even the second time, with Sam, the tears came again. Birthdays missed, family events skipped - sacrifices that sting, even as the boys grew more comfortable and happy in their boarding house.
Learning Independence
Boarding life demanded independence. “The boys go off to school without having to be independent at all. They have to learn to navigate friendships, personalities, routines. Boarding is their home, without the comforts of mum's cooking. It’s a big ask for a 12-year-old boy.”
And yet, those challenges became opportunities. The boys learned responsibility, resilience and maturity earlier than many of their peers. “In the long run, that’s a great thing,” Mrs Elms reflects. “You just have to keep reminding yourself of that when they’re little, because they’re very little.”
Opportunity and Sacrifice
For regional families, boarding is an investment in education and opportunity.
The Elms family knew the cost - financial, emotional and practical. “There are holiday considerations, work-life balance at home, sacrifices that come with that decision. But you just make it happen because your kids are the most important thing.”
Finding Community
Boarding is not just about the boys. It’s about the parents too. “Our family friends are our closest kids’ friends now. As a boarding mum, you spend so much time with their families and vice versa. We’ve become very close, very good friends.”
Even after graduation, the bonds endure. Boarding parents organise reunions, catch-ups and celebrations. “We almost create our own old boys’ reunions because we’ve all become so close. The kids will stay connected, but as parents we want to as well.”
The Legacy of Character
Toowoomba Grammar School’s focus on character is a legacy borne out in every cohort. “Our kids are incredibly grounded. They don’t take life for granted. They go home, they work on the farm, they contribute. They love it. They’re appreciative of the opportunity they're given.”
From tiny Year 7 boys to confident young men, the transformation is profound. “We recreated a photo from Year 7 and I thought, you are beautiful humans, amazing young men. As parents, you just can’t be prouder.”
Tears of Joy
Boarding life begins with tears of trepidation, but it ends with tears of joy. Joy at the friendships formed, the independence gained, the character built. Joy at the men they have become.
For the Elms family, the journey from Edgeroi, NSW to Toowoomba Grammar School was one of sacrifice and opportunity, of surreal beginnings and proud endings. Boarding may be difficult to be away from your child in these formative years but its legacy is one of resilience, community and character - for Melanie and Jason Elms they felt very strongly it was the right pathway for their sons for life beyond the farm, beyond the region and into the wider world.
Their youngest daughter is still at Fairholme College, so whilst boarding isn't over for their family, it's the end of a chapter for them here at TGS and the moment is indeed bittersweet.
Latest Blog
“Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Whether it was American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, or even UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s father who coined the phrase “watch your character, it becomes your destiny,” it was Dr Linda Evans who gave it real relevance to a theatre full of students, staff and families. After a decade and a half in charge of Toowoomba’s respected Fairholme College as Principal and some 22 years in total on staff, Dr Evans will leave the institution she has led and loved by…
Preparation for Boarding: Practical Tips and Tricks
In fact, I’ve coined the phrase “the clearer the runway, the smoother the landing” as a neat summary of this observation. A great deal of boarding experience can be initiated at home in the weeks and months leading up to your son’s departure, helping him prepare psychologically and logistically for his upcoming journey. At TGS, we acknowledge that the boarding journey for boys and families starts long before they enter the house in late January. In the mind of a new boarder and their family,…
Exploring the Role of Neuroscience in Supporting Teenage Boys
Recent insights from neuroscience reveal that the teenage brain undergoes significant changes, particularly in the frontal lobe, which is essential for decision-making, impulse control and emotional regulation. By leveraging this knowledge, we can create supportive environments that guide our boys through the complexities of their teenage years.The Prefrontal Cortex The prefrontal cortex, located in the frontal lobe, is one of the last areas of the brain to mature, significantly impacting…
Remembering Tony Booth OAM
As a schoolboy, Tony excelled at athletics, demonstrating exceptional speed and talent. He went on to win Queensland titles in both the 100 yards and 440 yards, establishing himself as one of the state's premier sprinters. From 1956 to 1989, Tony devoted more than three decades to coaching athletics, cross-country, swimming and rugby at Anglican Church Grammar School (Churchie) in Brisbane, where he became a beloved mentor to countless students. His dedication, expertise and genuine care for…
Wellbeing and Character Development Program — Benefiting Students and Staff Alike
In 2024, the School re-established the Head of Pastoral Care position. The role will be pivotal in supporting all staff to foster a supportive and nurturing environment at Toowoomba Grammar School. Integral to the role’s success is the parallel expansion of the Wellbeing and Character Development (WCD) program to yield multifaceted benefits for both staff and students. For staff, the Head of Pastoral Care provides guidance, support and resources, aiding in their efforts to address students’…
Remembering William Vaughan Hinton OAM
That spirit of curiosity and courage would carry him through a life of service, media innovation and deep care for others. William Vaughan Hinton OAM Vaughan's career began as a cadet reporter at the Toowoomba Chronicle in 1948, followed by work at ABC Radio. This early start launched a lifelong vocation in public service media, built on his belief that stories could shape understanding, challenge assumptions and bring people closer to one another. After completing national service with the…
Nurturing the Seeds of Leadership
Early exposure to leadership roles helps children develop character traits such as responsibility, empathy, resilience and integrity. As a School, we provide the opportunity for the cultivation of leadership skills in our young boys. From the formative years in Prep through to the adolescent years of Year 6, the importance of fostering leadership qualities cannot be overstated. In our modern world, where adaptability, resilience and initiative are regarded as quality attributes, nurturing the…
Pedal Power: The TGS Mountain Bike Club
What started with 12 boys now has 90, with many of the riders racing in the Schools Academy Gravity Enduro Series and other events. We also have a tour of 20 boys going to Thredbo in December this year, where they will tackle some of the most exciting trails in Australia. We thank the wonderful group of parents who support the club. They can often be found driving vehicles up and down the range on a Sunday morning to support the boys. We would not have been as successful as we are without…
Beyond the Blue and Gold
Our focus is to work with each individual student to assist in creating awareness of the world of work, helping students to articulate their interests and identifying what is important to them and their values. We assist the boys in developing the skills to explore the different careers out there. We connect them with employers and industry professionals and help them navigate towards the job or career they are interested in. We work hard to individualise each student’s unique School journey to…
