At Toowoomba Grammar School, our staff know adolescence is a complex time in the lives of our boys.
As we approach the end of Term 3, we find it is typically a time when boys start to get tired and emotional and are most likely to make poor decisions that can lead to relationship challenges between peers. Comments and humour shared between mates that may have been received without concern in the first week of the term may change as boys start to tire and their tolerance levels decrease. This may lead to boys reacting with heightened and overly emotional responses. This is normal as boys are also navigating their position in social groups within different settings.
Our experienced Toowoomba Grammar School staff, who consciously choose to work in a boys’ school, address these challenges with the boys by suggesting strategies that will assist the students to navigate their way through these challenging situations. Our dedicated Head of Pastoral Care, working in close partnership with the Head of Senior School and other pastoral staff, focuses on building coping mechanisms and strategies to improve student welfare.
One of the primary goals of the Head of Pastoral Care is connecting with students through authentic and genuine relationships. The role requires a considered and measured response to incidents as they occur. Key staff are included in the building of plans to assist and guide students to make better decisions and understand how these decisions impact others around them.
Strategies to manage negative peer interactions
At TGS, we adopt different approaches to equip the boys with the skills to function socially with each other. Through the School’s explicit Wellbeing and Character Development program, we teach boys ways to address bullying as both a victim and a bystander. If a boy is comfortable addressing negative interactions directly with his peers, we initially suggest they refer to these strategies:
- Humour — a means to de-escalate the situation by learning the art of laughing at oneself will often lead to these challenging moments decreasing.
- Compliments — responding to a taunt with a compliment can be very disarming to the student who has made a negative or inappropriate comment.
- The “so” statement — asking a student “So what?” can be an easy way to shut down the student that is generating the negativity in a peer relationship. For example, when a boy says to another boy “You didn’t play very well on Saturday”, the student can respond with “So what?”. Often the implication of being asked a secondary question can catch the offender off guard and diffuse the situation.
Toowoomba Grammar School employs a very clear behaviour management policy across four tiers of comprehensive responses linking consequences to actions that may have impacted another student’s wellbeing.
If a student at Toowoomba Grammar School is experiencing difficulty and is challenged by attempting to manage this situation on their own, then the students are encouraged to complete an online bullying notification that is forwarded to Mentors, Heads of House and senior staff. These notifications are actioned by staff in a meeting with the student where they cooperatively develop an action plan to address the matter.
If you are worried about your son, bullying and his interactions with his peers, our SchoolTV channel offers great advice.
We also recommend the book Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about bullying and the cycle of fear, as it contains very practical advice.
Latest Blog
Never Give Up
Six years ago, after experiencing ongoing muscle weakness, he was given a life-changing diagnosis - Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy 2i (LGMD2i). Basically, Matt’s body doesn’t produce the chemical substance, Ribitol which is crucial for muscle function. He was told there is no treatment or cure, that he would be wheelchair bound in five to ten years and require oxygen, with the likelihood of an early death. But Matt would not accept that fate. Instead, he took up the fight – not just for…
A Magical Collaboration - “Midnight: The Cinderella Musical”
A co-production between Toowoomba Grammar School and Fairholme College, this enchanting musical captivated audiences at the Empire Theatre for two nights in early June, leaving a lasting impression on all who attended. A Story Brought to Life “Midnight” is a fresh take on the Cinderella story, featuring music and lyrics by John Foreman and Anthony Costanzo, with orchestrations by Anthony Barnhill and additional contributions from Kate Miller-Heidke. The book, written by Dean Murphy and Pip…
Pioneering Excellence: Launching TGS's Athletic Development Program
Our Athletic Development Program represents a paradigm shift in how schools nurture sporting talent—combining cutting-edge technology, evidence-based practices and a whole-person philosophy that prepares young men for success beyond the scoreboard.
Reflecting on the Past, Walking Forward Together
This week is an important time for all Australians to learn about our shared histories, cultures and achievements, and to reflect on how we can each contribute to achieving reconciliation. The theme for NRW 2025, 'Bridging Now to Next,' calls on us to honour the past, acknowledge the present and actively build a better future. It reminds us that reconciliation is not a destination, it is a journey guided by reflection, respect and a shared commitment to walking together. As we look back on the…
A Bright Start to our Rising and Leading Series
More than 150 members of the Toowoomba and Darling Downs community joined us to hear from leading demographer and data commentator Simon Kuestenmacher, whose presentation sparked fresh thinking about the decade ahead.
Women of Grammar Luncheon
A Tribute to the Heart of the School Originally scheduled for International Women's Day but rescheduled (thanks, Cyclone Alfred!) to the eve of Mother's Day, the timing felt serendipitous. It was a day to honour the women—past and present—whose quiet strength, tireless support and enduring love have shaped the School's legacy and the lives of its boys for 150 years. The marquee was beautifully appointed for a day of merriment
Lachlan Stuart's Marathon Feat
Mr Stuart will return to TGS again for the event held on Wednesday, 28 May to support the Year 12's significant fundraising G150 Gift Run event. The boys are running 1500km in a relay format to honour a 1968 TGS Interact Club fundraising project that will help upgrade the original School gates on Herries Street, along with raising funds for the Nerve Connection Foundation.
Remembering Private Colin Stirling, a TGS Old Boy (1899-1900)
This was the headline that screamed out on the pages of the Toowoomba Chronicle and Darling Downs General Advertiser on Thursday, 15 August 1901. With ANZAC Day just last Friday, this week we continue to honour many of our Old Boys who gave the ultimate sacrifice including Private Colin Stirling, a TGS Old Boy (1899-1900) and our first former student lost in the Boer War. The story began with: “News was received on Tuesday afternoon that in an engagement at Kopjesfontein, on the 6th instant,…
Honouring Tradition: Toowoomba Grammar School and ANZAC Day
This year marks 98 years since TGS and the 13 Army Cadet Unit (Toowoomba Collective Unit) first participated in ANZAC Services in Toowoomba. The School's commitment to these services is a testament to its deep-rooted military traditions and the enduring spirit of remembrance. Mounties out the front of School House in 1908. A Legacy of Service Toowoomba Grammar School's military traditions date back to its early days. The School's Cadet Unit, formed in 1892, has been a cornerstone of its…
