Tears at the Gate, Pride at the Finish

Heartfelt moments bookend the boarding years

“It feels very surreal. I'm proud, but it is very surreal.” Those were the words of Mrs Melanie Elms from 'Taringa' near Edgeroi, New South Wales, as she reflected on the moment her youngest son Sam finished his time at Toowoomba Grammar School. An end to walking up to Taylor House returning a boarder to TGS forever and it comes just 12 months after her eldest son, James, graduated.

For the Elms family, the decision to send their boys to boarding school was not taken lightly. They toured schools in New South Wales and Brisbane, including her husband Jason's old School but it was Toowoomba Grammar School that felt right - the grounds, the environment, the country boys from regional communities.

“We loved the fact that the boys were all very like-minded. They were regional, they had connections already and it felt like a really good bouncing board to college, to Sydney, to greater life.” she said.

Tears of Trepidation

Yet even the right decision comes with heartache. “I will never forget the pit in my stomach,” Mrs Elms recalls. “We were all crying. We left James, got in the car and all started crying because it felt very strange.”

Sending a 12 or 13-year-old boy to boarding school is often described as a “necessary evil.” Harsh words, perhaps, but they capture the unnatural feeling of parting with your child. Even the second time, with Sam, the tears came again. Birthdays missed, family events skipped - sacrifices that sting, even as the boys grew more comfortable and happy in their boarding house.

Learning Independence

Boarding life demanded independence. “The boys go off to school without having to be independent at all. They have to learn to navigate friendships, personalities, routines. Boarding is their home, without the comforts of mum's cooking. It’s a big ask for a 12-year-old boy.”

And yet, those challenges became opportunities. The boys learned responsibility, resilience and maturity earlier than many of their peers. “In the long run, that’s a great thing,” Mrs Elms reflects. “You just have to keep reminding yourself of that when they’re little, because they’re very little.”

Opportunity and Sacrifice

For regional families, boarding is an investment in education and opportunity.

The Elms family knew the cost - financial, emotional and practical. “There are holiday considerations, work-life balance at home, sacrifices that come with that decision. But you just make it happen because your kids are the most important thing.”

Finding Community

Boarding is not just about the boys. It’s about the parents too. “Our family friends are our closest kids’ friends now. As a boarding mum, you spend so much time with their families and vice versa. We’ve become very close, very good friends.”

Even after graduation, the bonds endure. Boarding parents organise reunions, catch-ups and celebrations. “We almost create our own old boys’ reunions because we’ve all become so close. The kids will stay connected, but as parents we want to as well.”

The Legacy of Character

Toowoomba Grammar School’s focus on character is a legacy borne out in every cohort. “Our kids are incredibly grounded. They don’t take life for granted. They go home, they work on the farm, they contribute. They love it. They’re appreciative of the opportunity they're given.”

From tiny Year 7 boys to confident young men, the transformation is profound. “We recreated a photo from Year 7 and I thought, you are beautiful humans, amazing young men. As parents, you just can’t be prouder.”

Tears of Joy

Boarding life begins with tears of trepidation, but it ends with tears of joy. Joy at the friendships formed, the independence gained, the character built. Joy at the men they have become.

For the Elms family, the journey from Edgeroi, NSW to Toowoomba Grammar School was one of sacrifice and opportunity, of surreal beginnings and proud endings. Boarding may be difficult to be away from your child in these formative years but its legacy is one of resilience, community and character - for Melanie and Jason Elms they felt very strongly it was the right pathway for their sons for life beyond the farm, beyond the region and into the wider world.

Their youngest daughter is still at Fairholme College, so whilst boarding isn't over for their family, it's the end of a chapter for them here at TGS and the moment is indeed bittersweet.